Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Where do I stand in your life ?

I'm already in semester two in UiTM. but never even once have I felt truly belong.
I still struggle to sleep every night.
Putting a smile on my face every day even when I dont feel like it, is now a routine.
Im definitely out of my comfort zone. and I dont know why.

Most of my loved ones are so far away.
My sister is in london. My brother, my sis-in-law and my niece are in London.
My second brother is getting married in June.
Kamal is already doing degree in Shah Alam.  So he's staying at home.
Naznin is in MSU.
Aida is flying off soon somewhere in August, prolly to washington.
Anis is in aussie.
Bukhari will be flying off to India soon.
And so is Adam..and a few others.

And while I get this information from everyone, I kat mana ?
Dalam bilik kt UiTM kedah tngh tido kebosanan.
Esok buat apa?  Buat Visa? No. buat entrance exam to some prestigous university? No.
Packing my bags to go overseas? No.

What will I be doing then ?
Bangun, pergi class and doing the exact same thing Ive been doing for months.
Just getting by this freaking hard life in Kedah.
Something new?  NOTHING.
Nak habis diploma dah ? im far from finishing.
Rasa mcm. what am I doing here?  this is not where Im suposed to be.

Maybe its because the fact that I see something Ive worked for so very hard all this while,
org lain senang je dapat :)
Maybe its because i have to see certain someone everyday and its so disturbing.
Maybe its because I dont have that kind of comfort that I do back home.
Bestfriends, parents, NON.

The telephone can't take the place of your smile.
When I need you, I just close my eyes and I'm with you.

Be strong Ciya, maintain!
All this hardship, will make your victory even sweeter.
One more month.


No comments:

Post a Comment